I have been talking to a lot of people about my transition lately, and more than a few times people have told me: “You need to write a blog!” I have tried this whole blogging thing (like when I moved to Brooklyn to become a public high school teacher) and I found that while I started with a bang, I clearly lost steam due to lack of interest, lack of time, lack of sleep, or what is more likely to be a combination of all these things. I recognize that all these factors still exist, in some form, in my life now. The difference, though, is that trans stuff is so in right now. And I don’t mean that to sound vain or flippant– I mean that honestly. Bruce Jenner? Aydian Dowling on Ellen and the cover of Men’s Health Magazine? Laverne Cox gets her own TV show? TLC specials about trans kids? Transgender issues are really having a moment in our popular culture right now, and perhaps this is one instance in which I actually have something to say on a topic that is also relevant. And so, with that, I begin. Here’s a post that can be filed under “weird stuff that happens to you when you start taking testosterone.”One thing I have very recently noticed is that I am REALLY HOT ALL THE TIME. Like, not hot-synonymous-with-attractiveness, I mean hot as in HOLY SHIT IT’S HOT IN HERE, TURN THE FAN ON.
I admit, I am not sure when this trend began. I have been on testosterone for a little over 9 months now. I only noticed this temperature thing in the last few weeks. It’s possible this is a new development (like the “Oh yay, back zits!” moment I had yesterday), but its also possible that I have only noticed this recently because I have just started sharing my personal space with cisgender women (born female, identify as female) again.
But now I have to back up– I was in a long-distance relationship for about 10 months (the relationship was 3+ years long, it had been long distance for 10 months), so I wasn’t having women in my house close enough to me for me to realize I was really hot. The only creatures I shared my living space with were my 4-legged children (I will surely talk about these later), and they all have fur coats on, so they wouldn’t know the difference.
But recently, I have been dating again, and thus have been physically closer to cisgender women than I have been in a long time. And I just had a friend move in for the summer and his fiance is around a lot. Anyway, all this is to say that I have no idea if I have only recently become hotter, or if I have only recently noticed it. I find myself turning on the fan, only to notice other people in the room shivering. The thought of wearing much more than underwear makes me start to sweat. DEAR GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME???
It was a high of only 70 today, and for most of the day it was breezy and overcast. It started off as a day that reminded me of Seattle, the kind of day where I used to spend my whole day drinking warm coffee and feeling chilly in my bones. So I wore slacks and a lightweight flannel dress shirt to work, and I walked instead of riding my bike because I wanted to enjoy the weather.
I only had to walk about 2 blocks before I was sweating my ass off and rolling my sleeves up. I used to always be the cold one– the one who wore jeans in the summer time and never forgot to bring a jacket to the movies. Now I can go see a movie at night time, wearing only a tank top on my torso and nothing else, and be totally comfortable. WTF testosterone? How am I even going to handle summer in LA?